


Release the Kuroken!

by Envytastic



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Bokuto Koutarou & Kuroo Tetsurou are Bros, M/M, collection of shorts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 23:19:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9791570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Envytastic/pseuds/Envytastic
Summary: A random collection of shorts I started for my new OTP's. 1: Kenma has a ridiculous libido, Kuroo goes to Bokuto to complain.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I am so sorry this isn't beta'd. This was just one of the random ideas that have been swimming in my mind lately and I love the bromance between Bokuto and Kuroo.

“Bro you look like shit.”

“Bro I feel like it too.”

Kuroo trotted over to Bokuto’s bed and flopped down on it face first, not caring to show some modesty and making himself at home. Bokuto was after all his friend of years. Bokuto followed his distraught friend and sat down on the edge of the bed, patting his shoulder with empathy.

“What’s eating at you?” He asked, pressing his thumbs into hard muscles of his friend’s neck for an impromptu massage. Damn, Kuroo had accumulated quite some knots.

“Kenma is.” Kuroo answered, relaxing from the platonic massage. “He is insatiable.”

Bokuto barked out a laugh. “Seriously? Sweet little ‘always-tired’ Kenma?” He asked, almost not believing it. Sure he knew what happened between Kenma and Kuroo behind closed doors. He and Kuroo were like school girls, always telling the other about their significant other. This was the first time he heard this one though. Kuroo had been ecstatic to tell Bokuto when he had done it for the first time, with Kenma no less, his crush of seven years. Bokuto was happy for his friend but felt a little sour, having lost the unspoken battle of who would lose their virginity first. But that didn’t matter now.

Kuroo only hummed in response, muffled by his face buried in Bokuto’s hideous owl patterned duvet.

Bokuto hummed too, in thought. Never did he expect Kenma to have such a high libido. Maybe he should call the pseudo-blond a nymph the next time, see if he could get a reaction out of the lethargic male. Kenma would probably not respond and Kuroo would probably feel the backlash. What kind of friend would he be if he made his best bro suffer? (He so totally was going to call Kenma a nymph the next time they had joined practice.)

The dark haired male finally regained some strength and pushed himself up to a sitting position, grabbing the half full sports bottle from Bokuto’s cluttered nightstand. “I’m thirsty.” He murmured before downing the bottle in just a couple gulps.

“Broski I think that’s expired.” Bokuto had no idea how long that particular bottle stood there. He wasn’t the tidiest person in the world; no matter how many times Akaashi reprimanded him.

“Yeah. I felt the chunks.” Kuroo said with a grimace, putting the now empty bottle back down on the nightstand. He lied back down, using his arms as a pillow. Bokuto joined him by stretching out over his bed as well.

“So now what? You gonna break up with him?”

Kuroo gasped with indignation. “How dare you even suggest that bromigo?” He said with mock hurt. Bokuto only rolled his eyes. Kuroo replied by sticking out his tongue. “I just want to know how I can deal with…” He made a vague hand gesture by rotating his wrist around. “this.”

The owlish boy reached over and fished out his laptop from under a pile of clothes. It was in sleep mode so he didn’t have to wait for the ancient thing to start up (fortunately). Clicking on the browser icon, he typed in a website and handed the device to Kuroo.

It didn’t take a genius to figure out what site was before him. Colorful phallic objects were displayed with clever names and ridiculous prices. “Just pick him a nice one and give it to him or something.” Bokuto suggested. Kuroo scrolled through the site briefly before closing the lid with a sigh.

“He already has dildo’s man. Some are even bigger than me.” Not to brag, but Kuroo found himself well-endowed. Bokuto was certainly jealous. The only one who was bigger than him in both the Nekoma and Fukuroudani teams, was Lev. But he got bonus points for having Russian blood. The bastard.

Bokuto winced. “Then I have this piece of advice for you bro-chacho.”

Kuroo turned his head to look at his friend.

“Stay hydrated.”

 


End file.
